Life lessons 2023: Let go of your attachment to the outcome
Another year and more life lessons! These are some of the lessons I’ve learned and grown from during 2023, I hope you find them thought provoking to help you live your best life.
Let go of your attachment to the outcome
This actually came about from a blind date that I'd been set up on by some friends. Having been single for a while and initially chatting online I was quite excited about meeting this person as on paper we seemed to have similar visions. Alas it was not meant to be.
BUT, we played this super interesting card game called We're not really strangers. As someone who likes to have deep meaningful conversations, I really enjoyed it and at one point drew out this card which said to let go of my attachment to the outcome. The date didn't lead to anywhere unfortunately, but I have come back to this phrase time and time again over the last year.
For example, I had some bad news arrive over the weekend.
The research paper I had submitted last week had been rejected, no real reason or explanation. The editor just didn’t like it.
Years ago this would have sent me in a tailspin of negative thoughts and completely derailed my day and perhaps even my week, that one of the biggest life lessons that I have learned this year at least is to let go of my attachment to the outcome. And to separate my worth or value from the result.
There are many situations we face that no matter what we do, we cannot control the exact outcome. Regardless of how much effort we put in.
Which is why I like reminding people to look for multiple outcomes and that can result when we are making a change beyond the one primary one that we are thinking of.
Weight loss for example, nutrition is an art and a science and it can be challenging to determine the exact number someone might achieve. In the flip side, your weight does not determine your value or worth as a human either.
Be still and rest.
This is not a new lesson for me. But one that I am continually learning to apply
As someone with ADHD, being still, slowing down and resting is REALLY difficult. Particualrly mentally as my brain has a tendency to go a million miles and hour and get worse when life calms down. However, having burnt myself out a few times over the last year from overcommitting, I have been learning to say no to more things that dont' align with my personal belief and philosophy and to carve space out to be and stop.
This might be as simple as going to the beach for an hour or sitting down by the pool reading a book in the afternoon. Finding ways to slow down and recharge the batteries is so important in order to let me live my fullest life.
Say no to things that don't align
My last lesson from 2023 has been to say no to things that don't align.
I love working in pro sport. I have some pro athletes that I work with privately and I am also the lead sports dietitian for American Magic for the America's Cup which will be in Barcelona next year. I've worked with pro cycling teams in the past and I enjoy working on the camps, which I've done over the years for a few different teams.
But, this year I decided to say no to multiple pro cycling teams who wanted me to work with them next year. This wasn't an easy decision, and was one that took a few months to come to terms with, but ultimately it came down to what were most important values and qualities for me and my life.
This would be freedom and flexibility. I love my life in Spain, but I also love Australia and I love the fact that I have been able to design a life that lets me work between the two countries. By working full-time for a pro team, I would not have the flexibility or freedom to fly home when I chose to. Over the years I have learned how valuable it is to be able to tune in to what matters most to me - and whenever i am out of alignment my health and happiness suffer.
I mentioned how I had been reading over some diaries recently and I came across an entrie from about 7 or 8 years back when I was considering leaving my full-time job to study my masters in sports nutrition and open my private practice. It was the scariest thing in the world but I knew deep down that it was right and I am so glad that I acted on it.
I wouldn't have believed this 10 or 15 years ago, but this is why I believe it is so valuable to spend time getting to know yourself, what is and isn't important to you and why, in order to make steps towards where you want to go.
What have you learnt this year?
Here's to a great 2023!
Gemma
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